


The Great Ice Cream Adventure

by Tahlruil



Series: After the End [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Decisions Are Hard, Developing Relationship, Happy Doesn't Like the Old Avengers, Ice Cream Fixes Everything, M/M, Or FRIDAY, Or James, Or Tony Being Early, POV Happy Hogan, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Slash, Setting Boundaries, Steve Rogers critical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-11-20 01:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11326290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: "Trying harder for Tony when it came to meetings meant being only half an hour late and arriving with offerings of coffee and donuts as an apology. Yet there his boss was, stepping out of the elevator early, fully dressed and even smiling.Happy didn’t like it."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of silliness. XD The idea struck the other day, and it's been a nice refresher before I dive into some of my more complicated stuff.
> 
> Could take place either before or after 'Haircuts and Hope', but definitely after 'Too Much to Ask'. The timeline of this series is sort of in flux, I guess, and things probably won't be posted in chronological order. If that bothers a lot of people, I could maybe put them in order in a separate series at some point.
> 
> Comments please and thank you? :D

When Tony showed up in the garage a little more than five minutes early, Happy found himself feeling sort of impressed. His boss hated these monthly company-wide status reports. A day full of meetings with people he didn’t like (or respect, half the time) wasn’t high on his list of priorities. They’d been late or absent altogether for reasons ranging from the plausible to the absurd. And yeah, Tony’d been trying harder lately for the sake of Pepper’s blood pressure… but that didn’t translate to being early. Boundaries 

Trying harder for Tony when it came to meetings meant being only half an hour late and arriving with offerings of coffee and donuts as an apology. Yet there his boss was, stepping out of the elevator early, fully dressed and even smiling.

Happy didn’t like it.

Since he couldn’t do anything about it though, he just gave his boss and friend a smile in return. “Hey boss. Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”

“Uh… wrong. Mornings are never beautiful when I see them from this side of sunrise. It isn’t a shitty morning though, so I’ll take it. Here.” Happy hadn’t noticed the brown paper bag (and where the hell had those come from?) in Tony’s hand until he was holding it out to take. Feeling highly suspicious verging on concerned, he did just that and peeked inside… only to find what looked like freshly baked muffins. “James said I had to share. I ate three on the way down so you get the rest. Unless you’re not a fan of blueberries-”

Happy yanked the bag out of Tony’s reach, scowling at him. “I like blueberries just fine. Tell James I said thanks for making you share. Otherwise I’d only have even seen one, and you’d have been eating it as you got in the car.”

“I would like that comment stricken from the record on account of how close to the truth it was.”

“You seem pretty perky for a morning that’s only ‘not shitty’. You have a lot of coffee already?”

“I wish. That reminds me - we need to stop by that little coffee place I like real quick. James said I was running too late to have… a cup… upstairs…” Tony trailed off, probably because of the look of surprise Happy knew he was wearing. He wasn’t able to school his expression fast enough, and now Tony was the one scowling. “I’m not late at all, am I?”

“No.”

“How early?”

“Five minutes.”

“Fri-baby, you are a dirty rotten traitor.” Sometimes Happy missed the sound of JARVIS’ voice, but FRIDAY was growing on him. Enough that he didn’t grimace anymore when he heard her, anyway.

“Sorry Boss. We were just trying to look after you.”

“‘We’?”

“Oh yeah, Hap. ‘We’. Because maybe Fri was the one who changed all my clocks and alarms - which means I have to get a fucking analog watch to wear all the time like I’m living in the stone age - but she was not the mastermind. That was James, who lied to my face and had the nerve to look all concerned and worried about how I’d get anything for breakfast when I was running so late but just so happened to have been baking this morning. Wasn’t I so lucky.”

“Actually we worked on the plan together Boss. The muffins were my idea.”

Happy couldn’t help but laugh at the sour look on Tony’s face. It was pretty hard to outmaneuver the man, but trust his own AI and the assassin-turned-houseguest to manage it. His boss wasn’t actually mad about it, he was pretty sure, which meant he was allowed to find it funny. Just to get under Tony’s skin a little, he fished one of his muffins out and began to eat it with exaggerated sounds of enjoyment.

“You’re all fired!” Tony declared as he threw his hands up. “You’re all fired and I’m going to go hire people who don't mock me and will treat me with the respect I deserve.”

“Boss, Sergeant Barnes doesn’t work for you, I’m afraid, though you could ask him to move instead. And as none of your other AIs are capable of managing both the suits and your home, you might want to keep me around too.”

“And I technically work for Pepper now. Good luck getting her to fire me.”

“I hate all of you.”

“It’s good for you - keeps you on your toes. Since you never get in the ring with me anymore, it’s important you get that kind of stimulation somewhere.”

“I need you to never put it that way again.”

“You’re the boss.” Happy polished off the muffin - and it was pretty good, even if he wished it had some of that crumbly stuff on the top - then jerked his thumb toward the car. “Can we get going? If we leave now we could still be right on time.”

“No. We’re going to stand here for ten, maybe fifteen minutes until I’m as late as I wanted to be. Then we’re going to go get me coffee, and _then_ we’ll get to the meetings.”

“Boss…” Happy thought it was kind of creepy that he and FRIDAY had spoken in concert and almost the exact same tone of voice. He didn’t mention it though, because Tony could get awful funny about his fancy computer voices. Since Tony Stark was an immovable object who’d never met an unstoppable force he couldn’t trip up, Happy leaned back against the car and resigned himself to waiting. There’d be no getting his boss to leave before at least ten minutes had gone by.

As he waited, he dug into a second muffin and watched Tony out of the corner of his eye. He was smiling as he tapped away on his phone, and something inside Happy’s chest eased just a little. Things had been… bad for a while there. After he and Pep had trusted the man they both loved (though in very different ways) to the Avengers, they’d thought everything would be good - Tony had friends looking after him both in the field and off of it. Friends who would have his back, and who could help him and understand him in ways that Happy and Pepper just couldn’t anymore.

That trust had blown up in their faces spectacularly, and Tony’d paid the price.

So things had been really, really bad for a while after Tony and Rhodes had finally been ready to come home. Worse than he could remember things ever being before, but they had managed to get a little better. Pep kept SI afloat and off Tony’s plate while battling her own inner demons and (sometimes) Tony himself. Happy stuck as close to Tony as the guy would let him, doing his best to just be there, the way he had been for years before the Avengers had even been a thought in Fury’s head. Both things along with Rhodes’ continued improvement had seemed to help; the absence of the old Avengers had done even more good, in his opinion. The new ones were around a little, but that was fine. They were alright by him, and things were getting better.

Then Captain America had come back, and things had again taken a downturn. Happy’d done his best to run interference where he could, but it wasn’t like he could just hang around inside the tower all the time. So his efforts were limited, but he tried his hardest to bolster his boss. While Tony drove (because he still wouldn’t let Happy do his actual job most of the time) Happy’d try to cheer him up and sometimes it had worked. Not as often as he would have liked, of course, but it was something. Part of him had thought things would continue on like that indefinitely.

Thankfully Captain Asshole had left again, taking his whole team with him. Well, except for the creepy guy Happy sometimes drove to psych appointments - he stayed. Couple weeks after that happy departure, Tony started really smiling again. Couple more weeks and he was having spirited discussions with FRIDAY instead of mostly ignoring her. Then creepy guy got a name, and Tony was arguing with him too, in that dramatic and obviously fond way that meant Tony thought of him as a friend.

James (because Tony got real upset when Happy called him ‘creepy guy’) wasn’t the only reason for the shift into ‘good’ and then ‘great’. Happy thought Peter Parker deserved a lot of the credit, along with the other kid-Avenger. The way the newer Avengers asked for things instead of demanding, and that only occasionally, was good for him too. So was having the old team live several hours away, which was Happy’s favorite change. Still, James was a factor and a pretty good cook. Happy wasn’t ready to trust him, not yet, but it was... well. Nice, to see Tony smiling and with a new friend.

A new friend who’d just stumbled out of the elevator with wild eyes and a green tinge to his face. Happy felt for the guy - he really did - but the way Tony rushed to his side meant that they’d be very, very late. Giving a soft groan, he pushed himself off the car and reached for his phone - Pep always handle Tony’s tardiness better when she had advanced warning that it was coming. As he sent her a message, he listened to the two men and wondered if ‘tardy’ wouldn’t turn into ‘absent’.

“He’s not s’posed ta come today Tony.”

“Hey, hey… I know. He wasn’t supposed to come until-”

“Wednesday. Not ‘til… I can’t. Not today. He’s… he’s s’posed ta let me know b’forehand, not just… he can’t Tony. I’m not-”

“Breathe James. Please? Come on, you can do it… good. You’re doing great. And you’re right - he isn’t supposed to just come over. It’s something you asked, and he agreed to it. So try to breathe, honeybunch. You don’t have to see him, and he shouldn’t have done this.”

“He… he sent me a text that he’s leavin’ now. Hat’s not a warnin’. Not a real one.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“‘M s’posed ta get at least a day.”

“I know.”

“My therapist said it’s an important boundary.”

“It is.”

“Unless it’s an emergency, he ain’t s’posed ta just assume ‘m free.”

“He isn’t. Breathe. You aren’t wrong James. It’s okay to be upset with him.”

“I know that!”

“Okay, you’re right. I know you know that - sorry. I’m not trying to patronize you, I swear. Now what are we gonna do?”

Silence. Absolute silence, one that lasted long enough to make Happy look over at the pair. James was ghost-white now, and Happy was pretty sure that if the phone in his hand hadn’t been StarkTech, it would have shattered in the grip of his metal hand. He watched the man’s mouth open and then close several times (it was a good reminder to get some fish food before he went home for the night) and he seemed absolutely stumped. It was like someone had asked him to solve all the problems in the Middle East, not tell his best friend ‘no’. Happy didn’t like to be one to judge, but… well. James really was a little off, and spending any length of time with him would drain Happy of all patience.

Tony, who so often seemed to have the attention of a five year old, only gave James a soft, warm smile. He gave the impression that he was willing to wait forever for the other man and not be bothered by it at all.

“Ice cream or donuts?” The question seemed to come out of nowhere, unless you knew Tony Stark. Happy had the great honor of knowing him very well, so he just sent along another message to Pepper. At least there was still time to pull someone to cover Tony’s responsibilities for the day.

“... ice cream.”

“Good choice! Hap, do you mind doing the driving today?”

“So I’m not fired anymore? Good to know. And sure I’ll drive, if I still remember how. Are we going to the place in Pennsylvania or Ohio?” Tony looked expectantly to James, who again appeared slightly panicked. He did answer though… eventually.

“Oh… Ohio, I guess?”

“You heard the man, Happy! Chart our course for the wilds of Ohio.” Rolling his eyes, Happy typed the address of the place into his phone - it’d been a while, so a refresher on how to get there couldn’t hurt. “How long ago did Steve text you?”

“‘Bout seven minutes.”

“Okay. Here’s the gameplan. Hap can get us out of the city in-”

“Half an hour.”

“So that’s when we’ll call your buddy back. You can call him and tell him I had a hankering for ice cream, so I kidnapped you and were on a road trip. We can fudge the truth a bit and say we left earlier than we did. Happy will keep our secret-”

“And take it to my grave, boss.” As he gave the expected answer, Happy opened up one of the rear doors. Tony was quick to usher James - whose expression had brightened considerably - toward the car.

“And Fri-baby-” It took the AI a little longer than JARVIS to chime in, but he tried his hardest not to resent that. If Tony, who’d loved JARVIS fiercely, was able to at least look like he was moving forward, Happy felt he should be able to do the same.

“If Captain Rogers asks, Boss, I’ll let him know you left an hour and a half before you will.”

“Good girl. I’ve had the music up so loud that you didn’t hear your phone go off, James, but you called as soon as-” Tony climbed into the car after James and Happy closed the door behind them, muffling their conversation. Just as well, because hit had left a sour feeling in his stomach - Tony was taking the fall _again_ , setting himself up to be the bad guy of the piece. He was always playing the villain, and Happy was getting pretty tired of it. The guy wasn’t perfect - who was - but he wasn’t the heartless, careless playboy people still liked to see him as. Never had been, but he knew Tony didn’t like people knowing that. He was… complicated, and too quick to throw himself on other people’s swords.

Happy couldn’t stop himself from muttering his, well, _un_ -happiness at the fact as he headed for the driver’s side door. And maybe he slammed it shut a little harder than necessary, but he didn’t feel bad about it. Not until that brown paper bag with that one last muffin in it caught his attention anyway. Didn’t make up for letting Tony be the fall guy… but he guessed he should be a little more forgiving. James’d had some tough breaks and was all kinds of messed up because of it, but at least he was trying.

Same thing couldn’t be said of everyone in Tony’s life, that was for damned sure.

He kept the music moderately loud and in the front speakers, giving his boss and James a bit of privacy. From what he could see whenever he checked the rearview mirror, they were engaged in a playful, Tony-driven squabble, both bent over the same tablet. They could be doing anything from playing a game to hacking the Russian government, and he was better off not knowing. James had clearly relaxed, and all the funny colors had left his face. Tony was half flirting and half squawking indignantly - Happy wasn’t sure his boss even knew he was trying to charm James. Not hard, so maybe it was a long game as well as a subconscious one.

At least James was doing the same sort of hesitant flirting in return. Less heartache that way.

Ten minutes outside the city, once the distinctive noise of it had faded, Happy turned the music down. “You’re clear to make your call boss. Er, James. Whoever’s doing the talking, you’re good to go.”

“Right! Thanks Hap. You ready James? Got the story straight and everything?”

“I’m not dumb Tony.”

“Never said you were, my darling crankpot.”

“Shattup. It’s ringin’.”

“Yes dear.” Happy wasn’t super interested in listening to the pre-planned throwing of Tony under the bus, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Maybe later he’d talk to his boss about it.

“Stevie? Yeah. Hey punk, didju leave the compound yet? … you did. We didn’t have anything planned today.” James’ voice was mostly steady and calm, but he was gripping the hand rest hard enough that Happy could hear it creaking in protest. “No, we didn- Stevie, you’re s’posed ta gimme a day’s… was not. … no, it wasn’t To- … Me’n my therapist did, punk.”

Tony looked extremely irritated in the rearview mirror, while James as gripping the hand rest harder and harder. Dealing with Steve Rogers just seemed to have that kind of effect on people, he’d noticed. Anyone who wasn’t one of the old Avengers anyway.

“Look, that don’t matter right now. You didn’t tell me soon enough, alright? ‘M not at the tower.” Happy clicked his teeth together and white-knuckled the steering wheel in preparation for the lie that would cast Tony as the bad guy. He was here to drive and for moral support, not to judge James. “Stevie! I ain’t lyin’! I’m on the road ta Ohio, I thi- .. no, I’m not alone. Whatta ya take me for? Yeah. No, Tony didn’t ‘steal’ me when he found out you were comin’. Imma person, not a damned necklace or somethin’.”

Happy felt his brows raise in surprise. When he glanced in the rearview mirror, Tony was scowling and waving his arms, clearly trying to order James into telling the lie his plan had called for. James, to Happy’s delight, ignored him.

“No… yes he’s here. Told ya he was. No, you can’t… sorta mine? Asked ‘im where I could get some good ice cream, and I think he was lookin’ for an excuse ta have an adventure instead-a goin’ ta his meeting, so we decided… no, I ain’t lyin’. We’re headed ta-” James paused, causing Happy to look up into the mirror again.

James had let go of the hand rest and instead had his hand splayed over Tony’s face, keeping him away and quiet at the same time. Happy couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped, and he didn’t miss the grin it brought to James’ lips.

“Where we headin’ again Happy?”

“That’s a secret!” Happy called back, loud enough that Rogers would be able to hear him. “Mr. Stark won’t let me tell anyone - great ice cream though. I can tell you that it’s pretty smack-dab in the middle of Ohio.”

“See Stevie? No I’m not sendin’ my location to your GPS!” He sounded angry now, which had Happy wincing. The two of them never sounded much like best friends, not to his way of thinking. And when he peeked over his shoulder, James had that hand rest in a tight grip once again. “This is one reason you’re s’posed ta be tellin’ me about visits ahead-a time! I’m… I’m tryin’ ta have a _life_ Stevie. I’m not just sittin’ around waitin’ for you ta show up, ‘n you’re s’posed ta be focusin’ on Avengers stuff anyhow. … … why would I have invited ya? You’re hours away, Stevie, and this was a spur-a-the-moment thing. … just turn around and go home, alright? I’ll see ya Wednesday. … No, not tomorrow. Wednesday. … dunno what I’ll be doin’, and it don’t matter. Our plans are for Wednesday. If you show up tomorrow punk,” The sharp crack that filled the air was probably that hand rest breaking. Happy only looked back for a moment, just long enough to see that Tony had his fingers wrapped gently around James’ metal wrist, concern warring with pride in his expression. “Wasn’t nothing. If you show up tonight or tomorrow, Stevie, I’ll ask Fri not to let you in. My therapist said this was real important and I agree. I’ll see you Wednesday. Yeah. No. Okay. Bye Stevie.”

Happy kept his eyes firmly on the road as James chucked his phone into the front passenger’s seat. He pretended he couldn’t hear the way the man was gasping for breath, and didn’t strain his ears to try and make out what Tony was murmuring softly to him. After a couple minutes, he turned the music back on, a little softer now, and just kept driving.

Later, while carefully licking his delicious, homemade chocolate ice cream, Happy came to a conclusion. It happened after Tony made a patently terrible pun and laughed at his own awful humor. In retribution, James groaned and then (gently, clearly knowing his own strength) smashed his ice cream onto Tony’s cheek. He wasn’t creepy at all - he was laughing as Tony began to chase after him, loudly swearing his revenge. When the owner’s seven year old daughter joined forces with Tony, James allowed her to be the one to catch him and ‘tackle’ him down to the ground. That definitely removed the creepy factor forever, especially when he patiently let Ruby and Tony smear ice cream all over his face.

Not creepy and maybe not like Captain Rogers at all, the way Happy’d thought he was. Yeah, he was kind of weird and had some hangups, but he wasn’t a bad guy. He hadn’t let Tony play the part of villain, and hadn’t asked Tony for anything other than his support. Happy’d been wrong to lump him in with the old Avengers. Maybe he was more like the new ones, just without living on the compound a safe distance away from Tony. And maybe that lack of distance wasn’t actually an awful thing.

Happy decided that he’d have to start looking out for James, the way he tried to look after Tony. He’d only have limited success, he was sure, but he’d try anyway. James could probably do with another friend, and Happy could do with more homemade baked goods in his life. Besides, it would make Tony happy, and Tony was someone who definitely deserved more happiness.

So it was a good idea all the way around. Enough of one that Happy didn’t even let the mess of ice cream Tony and James made in the backseat change his mind. He came close when James reached out and smeared melted vanilla all over the back of his neck… but the way Tony’s eyes lit up while he laughed just solidified things. James was one of the good guys, and so Happy would settle himself firmly in the man’s corner.


	2. In His Corner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be up a while ago - I was writing it during my downtime at Magic City Con, and had intended to post it then too. But then I had a VIP event, where Jonny Rees did a really cool thing that gave me FEELINGS (which how dare he?) so I had to process that and didn't get the fic finished. When I got home I had to turn my mind to other things, so this got pushed back - sorry! But in getting pushed back, it also got longer, so... I guess it maybe evens out? XD
> 
> I have officially fallen in love with my version of Happy that I tried to build from the Iron Man films. While I loved Spider-Man: Homecoming, I reject certain characterizations. Great movie, with some stuff I don't necessarily agree with that made sense for the story they were trying to tell. So yeah, I didn't much like how Happy was handled, even if I loved the idea of it. I have some complicated feelings, but it was still wonderful and everyone should see it!!! Peter Parker is fucking adorable and I love him forever. This movie is a gift. It was the perfect palate cleanser after the salty bitterness left in my mouth from CA:CW. That said, this series will largely ignore that movie and all the other Marvel movies that come out after I started it - I may incorporate bits and pieces, but I think paying too much attention to them will ruin the story _I'm_ trying to tell.
> 
> But yeah! Promised second chapter is here!
> 
> Comments please? :'D

Most people might not guess it, but Harold ‘Happy’ Hogan had a pretty full life outside of Tony Stark and Ms. Pepper Potts. He liked baseball and boxing, and had an extensive setup for taping games and matches he couldn’t see live. Antique cars were a passion that was out of his price range to be seriously involved in, but he did catch the occasional car show. Once, for his birthday, Tony had bought him a 1966 Shelby Cobra 427 – it was his most prized and cherished possession.

Most of his family had moved to the Midwest or out to the west coast, but his sister and her daughter lived only an hour away. They carved out time to spend together regularly, which was a nice change of pace. He was only a little jealous that he was no longer his niece’s hero – she’d started to practically worship Tony Stark as soon as she was old enough to be interested in her school’s STEM programs. _Her_ most prized possession was a picture of Tony congratulating her on her win at the county-wide state fair, signed by the man himself and complete with a message of encouragement. She didn’t go to a lot of baseball games with him anymore, but she was always thrilled to have his clumsy help with her latest Big Idea.

Happy also had fish. It was less out of a desire to have them and more because his sister had forced them on him so he wouldn’t be alone. They were pretty enough and relaxing to watch swim around late at night, so he kept them around. Since he didn’t believe in half-assing anything, their tank was beautiful, their care meticulous, and their lives long and happy. He wouldn’t be too broken up if he had to give them away or anything, but they were nice to have, he guessed.

So while his job, Pepper and Tony took up a pretty big chunk of his time, Happy had balance. He had stuff to do and people to see. He had a freaking life.

Which was why it sort of bothered him that James so obviously didn’t.

Any time Happy came up into the tower, he was there. He was almost always cooking, baking or reading. The occasional bout of silently staring at nothing and refusing to respond to any outside stimuli was thrown in too, probably just to freak him out. From what he gathered, the guy pretty much never left the tower, only had a few visitors (most of whom Happy hated, like Captain Asshole), and his greatest confidant was FRIDAY. Even now, as Happy sat frowning and working his way through the cinnamon sugar pull-apart bread James had put in front of him, the guy was pretty much ignoring him. He was chatting exclusively with the AI. And okay yeah, he had a messed up history. Done some bad things, hurt Tony and a lot of other people… but there’d been circumstances. Circumstances outside his control, and he seemed to be trying his hardest not to be that person anymore. So he deserved a life beyond the tower and an AI that could never measure up to JARVIS.

“We need to find you a thing,” he announced during a lull in their conversation. James came to a complete stop and looked to Happy, blinking. Honestly, he always seemed surprised and a little nervous when any human not named Tony or Steve talked to him. “You know, a thing. Like… boss enjoys racing, and Rhodes makes these cool little models. Pepper collects art – well, right now she’s mostly into collecting these weird Eastern European chotskies, but still. Everyone should have a thing. We should find you one.”

“Uhm… I like to cook?”

“Okay, right. And it’s good you know that. But that’s… I mean, Tony likes to build things, and that’s how he makes his money, you know? So it can’t be his _thing_ because it’s how he contributes. You like to cook – and bake, and _I_ love that you bake – and it’s great you know that. But it’s how you contribute, so-”

“Contribute?”

“See, when most people who aren’t Tony interrupt me, I’m kind of annoyed. With you I’m almost proud. And yeah – contribute. You’re part of the household and you cook for everyone in it. And bake for some of us lucky bastards outside it. It’s always good when how you contribute is something you enjoy, but you gotta have things apart from that. Or just a thing. With you I’ll settle for just the one.”

Now that he spent more time waiting for Tony inside instead of down in the garage, Happy saw James more often. A deliberate ploy on his part to get to know the guy and get his hands on more baked goods, the plan was going well. So when James sorta froze again, he wasn’t surprised. He just waited – less patiently than some, but he still waited which was the important part – until James was ready to answer him. It took a little while, and then the man shrugged helplessly. “I don’t… there’s so much to-” He came to an abrupt stop, and his face lost what little expression had been there. “It’s been a long time since having a… a ‘thing’ was an option. I wouldn’t know…”

Right. Choices were not something James excelled in. Seemed to hate them, actually, and avoided them wherever possible. And Happy’d just thrown a whole mess of choices in his lap.

“If you want, I can be your guide in the fast-paced world of things. For a while Tony had a new thing every week, so I’m pretty much an expert.”

“I don’t want to… you don’t have to…”

“I offered, you’re not a burden, it’s not an inconvenience, and yes I’m sure. If you wanna keep baking me things to say thanks, I’ll suffer through it. Otherwise, we’re good.”

The smile James offered was fragile as a snowflake. “Thanks. I’d appreciate it.”

“No problem. It’ll give me something to do when Tony's running late.”

“So all the time then.”

“Bingo. Okay. Let’s narrow our first try down. Crowds okay, or do we want solo stuff?” This… was going to take a while, but hopefully the payout would be worth it.

“… … small crowds might be okay sometimes. But I think… no crowds might be better.”

“Don’t blame you – nothing worse than having other people ruin your thing. Sport or not?”

“Not.”

“Decisive. Nice. We can find you something fiddley and involved, like Rhodes’ models, or something more passive, like how Pep does.”

“Cooking is kind of fiddley. Let’s try something that isn’t.” James was relaxing into the conversation, and Happy was pretty damn pleased with himself.

“Do you want to collect sh- stuff?”

Here James looked dubious. “What kind of stuff?”

“That is a question with a lot of answers. Short answer is: anything. People collect stamps, art, maps, stat cards, dolls, other sports stuff…” Okay, now James’ eyes were huge and his breath was starting to pick up speed, so Happy quickly waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. “You know what? I’m going to veto collecting myself. It’s expensive to get the stuff actually worth keeping and it’s habit forming to boot. Okay. Something not too fiddley…” Shit, he should have made a list.

“How about…” Happy did his absolute best not to jump in and demand James continue. He was starting to almost get used to long, drawn out spaces in conversation. Sure was a change from Tony’s tendency to fill up any silence with babble. “Why don’t you pick something. Then I can try it and see if it sticks.”

“Excellent idea.” Not really, because now he was going to have to put way more effort into his impromptu idea than he’d really wanted to. FRIDAY let him know Tony was ready, so Happy grabbed one last bit of bread for the road, waving to James as he headed for the elevator. He mulled over some ideas on the way down to the garage, and was starting to think that maybe this could be fun. He could get James a thing, and then he wouldn’t feel so bad for the guy.

And how long could it really take to find someone a hobby anyway?

~.~.~

On looking back, Happy could see why drawing had been a bad place to start. That was his bad, and he felt pretty awful about it. Especially since James developed a case of the shakes and had to sit in Tony’s workshop for a few hours to recover. Tony hadn’t even been there, and Happy refused to think on what it meant for James to be allowed access when his boss was absent, because it wasn’t his business. He just put his mind to picking something else.

Photography had been a near miss. James had seemed almost regretful about putting the camera down, so Happy made sure to keep it. Later on, when James felt more confident about leaving the tower and seeing new things, he might decide to give it another try. When he was ready to have _two_ things, Happy would be ready to pull it out.

When they tried knitting, it had been a disaster. They both ended up tangled in yarn, and Tony had laughed for a good five minutes and taken several pictures before helping them out. Thankfully they didn’t end up online, but Happy was pretty sure he’d seen a copy of one image of James pouting and wrapped up in string shoved into the desk drawer of Tony’s office – it was another thing that was none of his business. On the positive, Happy’d learned a slew of Russian swearwords.

Yoga, writing, Ham radio, video games, meditation and dancing had all been duds. By that point, it was a matter of pride. Happy _would_ help James find a thing, dammit, or he’d die trying. 

In the end, Happy felt sort of stupid for not figuring it out sooner. James liked to work with his hands. Sure he’d said something ‘not fiddley’, but Happy had a sneaking suspicion that James _liked_ fiddley. Things fiddley and with tangible results were like catnip to the guy. If he were a cat and not and ex-assassin-turned-excellent-baker Super Soldier anyway. Metaphors – they always got away from him.

Getting him started on his new hobby had been expensive – Happy’d sort of expected to just hand him some wood and a knife so he could whittle. Instead Tony had found out about their venture, butted in and built the guy a goddamned workshop. Seriously, his boss was _insane_. He built James his own woodworking workshop in the tower, bought a metric shit-ton of materials and tools, found someone to teach him the basics and had probably bought a lumber yard for good measure because Tony had a real hard time even starting small. When he’d seemed all set to join James in his first lesson though, Happy’d put his foot down. Woodworking was going to be James’ thing, so Tony needed to butt right back out. At least to start with – once James found his feet and some confidence, then Tony could be all up in his workshop just like James was all up in his. 

Happy hadn’t done any of it for a ‘thank you’, but he didn’t turn down any of the cookies, muffins or breads James kept offering either. And the little shelving unit he’d been given was maybe a bit wobbly, but he still made a point of setting it up in his living room and filling it with books.

If he noticed that James was smiling a little more, he kept his mouth shut about it. It _was_ nice to be included more in the conversations between the guy and FRIDAY while he waited for Tony. It was nice to sometimes see little bits of wood shavings caught in James’ hair or clothes. And yeah, okay, maybe he felt real pleased with himself whenever James talked animatedly about a new project – so sue him. He deserved a little pat on the back, even just from himself.

Good deed done, James had a thing and Happy’d filled his quota for the year. Now he could sit back and stop worrying so much about James Barnes. He’d still be in the guy’s corner, sure, but now that James had just a little bit of a life, he could sit back and take it easy.

~.~.~

“He’s just so _weird_ you know? Total headcase. I hate driving Barnes to the shrink. Won’t say anything to me at all and he’s a fucking psycho.”

Happy came to a halt outside the lounge set aside for SI drivers, interest and ire piqued. He was more than ‘just’ a driver, so he had more interesting places to wait for Tony or Pepper, but he liked to drop by regularly. Regularly but on a complicated schedule so no one could predict his appearances – he was there to check up on them, so he liked to keep them on their toes. Driving for SI meant they had a lot of clients that carried sensitive information or might take sensitive calls while being driven. He took it as a matter of pride that his people were tight-lipped and professional. Pepper wouldn’t let him head HR anymore, but she had given him near-complete control over the transportation workers, and his drivers were going to be the best, dammit.

The current conversation sounded like one he definitely needed to hear, so he stayed out of sight instead of going right in like he usually did. He wasn’t paranoid like Tony said or obsessively dedicated the way Pepper thought. He _was_ wary and aware enough, however, to whip out his phone and start recording. Just in case he needed evidence later.

“That’s just being rude, not mental.”

“No no, Nick is right. Dude’s a complete headcase. I only drove him once and he gave me the willies. Dead eyes man. Dead eyes. Creepy as fuck, and that was _before_ he started muttering in some foreign language on the way back. I straight-up thought I might end up being murdered.”

“Exactly. And man – the second time I drove him I figured I’d be extra friendly, right? Gotta be nice to the nuts or whatever, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt. So I asked if he wanted to stop anywhere on the way back, you know? Keep him out in the world a little longer, let him see some of New York City. So I asked, right? The guy _flipped_. Eyes got all wide and he started breathing real funny – started talking real fast in that language of his too. Wonder if it’s even a real one. Anyway, swear to God, next thing I know the guy's curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth. Think he might even have been _crying_. It was fucking crazy. So I had to drive him back to the shrink to get fixed, right? It sucked – I was late for my next pickup because of it. He’s not right in the head – don’t know why Mr. Stark doesn’t just ship him off to the loony bin.”

Aaaand that was enough. Sure he could probably get more incriminating evidence if he just kept waiting and recording, but he’d had enough. James was a little weird maybe, a little off, but he was a good guy. Or he was trying to be, anyway, and most people didn’t bother. So yeah, he was a good guy and one Happy had decided to look out for. His protective instincts were flaring up, blood running hot, so he needed to shut these assholes down. Nobody got to talk about James like that – he wasn’t psycho, or a nut. He was a guy working through some stuff, and he deserved better. Beyond that, if he wanted to try and be objective about it, SI drivers should know better than to run their mouths about anyone they drove around. Happy didn’t much feel like being objective though.

This was what happened when they wouldn’t let him sit in on interviews. They got shmucks in the ranks who didn’t deserve to be working for them.

Turning off his phone’s recording app, he stepped into the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. The room went immediately silent, which pleased him to no end. Surveying the area, he saw two distinct clusters of his drivers – one group comprised of six looked relieved to see him while the other had four members looking both guilty and defiant. Those were his guys. Dropping his arms, Happy started to crack his knuckles as he walked over. They shivered, he smiled, and they shivered some more.

He felt pretty badass, actually. Like a hero in one of those actions films, coming in to save the day. Or maybe like a hero character from WWE, about to lay a smackdown. Not that he watched WWE, of course, because it was trash.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, coming to a stop once he’d reached the offenders. “It’s been a while, and I’m not always good with names. Which one of you is Nick?” Three of them pointed to the fourth. He would appreciate their honesty more if it wasn’t driven by self-preservation, but he’d take what he could get. “And who said they’d only driven Mr. Barnes once?” Again the culprit was instantly outed. It was good to be the king. “Great, thanks. You two,” he started, pointing at the honest and mostly silent members of the group. “Are on a two-week suspension. Pick better friends and don’t let me catch you in little gossip circles like this ever again. SI drivers do _not_ badmouth clients or stand around listening when it happens. Out of my sight.”

“Yessir!” Their reply was almost completely in synch, and then they fled. Happy had their faces fixed in his memory now though, and they’d be getting special attention from him for a while.

“Now. You two.” One guy – the not-Nick one – looked scared. Nick, however, still seemed ready to defend himself instead of taking the consequences. “You’re both fired, so you can-”

“You can’t do that!” Nick interrupted, glaring like Happy should be intimidated by him, which was ridiculous. He hung out with _Iron Man_ , for Christ’s sake, and saw the guys Iron Man fought up close and personal – normal people would never intimidate him ever again. “You don’t have the authority to fire us or hand out suspensions.”

“I do, actually. But hey, if you want me to take the recording of you two gossiping about James Barnes up to the bosses, I can do that.” Nick finally blanched, making Happy smile again. “I mean, I’m sure Ms. Potts will understand your complete lack of professionalism. She loves when her employees talk about clients right out in the open where anyone could hear them. I’m sure there’s nothing in your contracts forbidding that, right? So yeah, I could take this to her. Or I could go to Mr. Stark, I guess. He’d be fine with me firing you, but he might not be satisfied with that. I mean, I’ve seen him destroy people for less, but I’m sure this time he’ll be cool with it.” Ah, he loved the look of fear in the eyes of incompetent subordinates in the morning. “So either I fire you, or I march you both upstairs to see Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts. Your call guys.”

Happy was almost disappointed when they didn’t put up more of a fight. He trusted the two security guards who were in charge of supervising the final leave-taking, but he stayed with them until the end. It wasn’t just that he got satisfaction out of watching them pack up their things, get searched and then escorted out of the building. He also wanted them to feel him looming over them like a black cloud of vengeance. He wanted them to think about what he and Tony might be willing to do to them if they went to the press to bad-mouth James Barnes or the company.

Once the trash was out of the building, Happy got to work, whistling all the while. It was clearly time to clean house and crack down on the drivers – it was time to investigate their performance and see who was falling short. Happy kind of loved that part of his job.

James didn’t say anything when Happy was the one who showed up to drive him to his next appointment. He didn’t need to though, not when the relief in his eyes painted a pretty clear picture. On the way, they talked Thanksgiving food, and Happy was asked if he’d be dropping by the tower that day and what his favorite pie was. On the way back, Happy took a page out of Tony’s book and asked ‘coffee, ice cream or tower?’, and James ended up telling him about his latest woodworking project over a steaming pumpkin spice latte.

~.~.~

“Boss, we’ve been together a while now-”

“Oh my God. Happy, are you breaking up with me? Let me guess – it’s you, not me, and we’ll always be friends but you need something I just can’t give you.” Happy hoped the flat look he sent Tony’s way conveyed how very not-impressed he was. “Sorry. Continue with the break-up speech.”

“Its’s not a break-up speech.”

“No, right, I’m sorry. It’s just the way you started sounded an awful like like-”

“It’s not a break-up, Tony-”

“-you’re dumping me, but sure, fine, it’s not-”

“-because we aren’t dating, you’re my employer-”

“-a break-up speech. My mistake. Please continue.” The glint in Tony’s eye was a little frustrating, but Happy still liked seeing it. It meant things were good – it meant Tony was happy. So yeah, he liked when his boss got like this. God help him.

“Tony, this is serious.”

“And I seriously appreciate the solemn quality of this moment.”

“Fine, make your jokes.”

“Oh, I will.”

“But I mean what I’m about to say.”

“I’m sure you do.” When Happy sighed, Tony finally set down the pen he was fiddling with and leaned back in his chair. “Sorry Hap. What’s up?” Tony steepled his fingers, and Happy knew he finally had his boss’ complete attention.

“Alright. Thank you.” Happy paused briefly, just in case, but Tony stayed quiet. “Alright. I’ve been your driver and bodyguard for a long time now, even when you didn’t need me. You took a chance on me, Tony, and I’ll always appreciate that.”

“Happy you aren’t – you aren’t actually leaving, are you?” The amount of insecurity and devastation on Tony’s face broke his heart a little, and he almost reconsidered. But Tony didn’t need him anymore, not all the time, and he thought maybe someone else did.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have you drive me around anymore Tony. But see, there’s a couple guys I trust to do that for you, ones who’re ready to take the next step in their careers. They deserve that chance to step up, and… and there’s someone I don’t trust any of them with. So I’d… I’d like to switch my duties as bodyguard and driver over to James."

Tony, who’d been growing more tense by the moment, collapsed back in his chair. Happy felt sort of bad for not just coming out and saying it – the build-up had clearly worried Tony. Now he looked relieved as he drew one had down his face, letting out an explosive sigh. “Jesus fuck. Don’t _do_ that to me Hap. My heart can’t take it.”

“Sorry boss.”

“Okay. So you aren’t leaving-leaving. You… just want to drive James.”

“Yeah.”

“… something happened, didn’t it?”

“I took care of it.”

“Happy-”

“I took care of it, Tony. But guys who’ll fall all over themselves to make a good impression on you won’t do the same for him. You’re rich and a little bit famous, so you can be… eccentric.”

“Crazy.”

“Quirky. James doesn’t get as much leeway. So I think it’s for the best if I drive him for a while.”

“I want _names_.”

“I said I took care of it.”

“Names, Happy, or you’re fired.”

“No. They’ll never be able to drive so much as a taxi ever again, not with SI as a reference, and that’s good enough. But I don’t want it happening again. James deserves better.”

“I’m going to find out what happened and who it was.”

“Not from me, so my conscience is clear. I wash my hands and disavow all knowledge of what you’re going to do to them. So can I be James’ driver?”

“If I have something important, some big event, and James doesn’t have anywhere to be-”

“Then I’ll let you drive me there. And I’ll still see you all the time, boss. The guy lives with you, and you go with him half the time he leaves the tower anyway.”

“Yeah.” There was a long pause, during which Tony swiveled to face away from him. He was playing with a pen again, tossing it up in the air as he thought. Usually Tony was babbling, so the silence meant he was struggling with something – emotions probably. Happy gave him the space and quiet to work it out. “You’ve been with me through a lot, Hap,” he eventually started. Happy couldn’t help but smile at all the memories that brought up.

“I know. And I’ll never regret any of it.” A harsh laugh left Tony’s lips, one that gradually softened into something more real. Happy wasn’t sure what exactly his boss was thinking of; maybe his own regrets, or maybe all the crazy, dangerous things they’d been through. Maybe even the time Happy’d been in the hospital in a coma, which to be fair had not been his favorite moment in their history either.

“After Afghanistan…” Tony stopped, then started again, voice a little rougher than usual. “After I came back, you were the only one who didn’t treat me like I was too fragile to make decisions. You never questioned that I knew my own mind. You just got me cheeseburgers.”

“… cheeseburgers? That’s… that’s what you’re going designate as the defining moment of our relationship?”

“Yup.” That was just… just so Tony Stark all over. “And I know that deep down you were probably thinking I’d gone crazy, that everything that’d happened left me insane or with PTSD or whatever. But you didn’t say anything – you just got me burgers. I told you what I needed, and you made sure I got it. It probably seems stupid, and I don’t… I don’t always appreciate you the way I should. But… I care about you Hap, and I’m glad I took that chance on you. _I’ve_ never regretted that.”

This was getting close to touchy-feely, which neither he or Tony did. They didn’t do emotions with each other. But Happy couldn’t deny that he was feeling a bit choked up or that his eyes were a little wet. He cleared his throat to try and make that go away, but it wouldn’t. At least Tony still wasn't looking at him, or he’d probably start crying.

“I’ll always need you around, Happy. Or want you to be, anyway. But I think you driving James is a good idea. You’ll… you’ll make sure he gets cheeseburgers when he needs them.”

Tony suddenly turned towards him and surged out of his seat before rounding his desk. A second later, he and Tony were hugging – a manly hug, with back pounding and shoulder claps, but a still a hug. There were maybe a couple tears, but he figured the occasion called for it. When Tony let go, he didn’t stick around to talk their emotions out; he walked past Happy toward the elevator.

“Okay, so I’ll go write up the paperwork with Pep. You’ll be James’ driver from now on. Good. Great even. You make a list of drivers who will put up with me long enough to get from place ‘A’ to place ‘B’. Also Christmas is just around the corner, after Thanksgiving – funny how that happens every year. Giving you your present early, and no protesting because my mind is made up. Pick a car, okay Hap? One of your fancy classic ones. Any one you want, you got it. I expect a make and model on my desk by the end of the day, or you’re fired. Merry Christmas Hap.” Then Tony was gone, leaving Happy alone in his office.

“Merry Christmas to you too, boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have lots of ideas for this series, but most of them are not ready to be introduced yet. That said, does anyone have a character who's POV they'd like to see? Leave a comment here or on my [Tumblr](http://tahlreth.tumblr.com). I'd prefer a female voice because I haven't done one yet, but I'm not completely sure who to choose, so... yeah. Suggestions welcome. XD
> 
> **Also!** I finally did the thing! You know that thing I talked about forever ago, where I would post some worksheets that James does in therapy? That thing that subsequently didn't happen? Well now it has! If you want to see some of what James gets up to in therapy, wander over to my sideblog: [To Put Humpty Dumpty Back Together Again](https://gathering-the-fractured-pieces.tumblr.com/). Shitty graphics made by me aside, I'm pretty happy with it! Still working out a few kinks with the theme, but otherwise it's ready to go. I'm thinking maybe one or two worksheets a week? Ish? They'll be out of order, much like the little vignettes in this series, but they'll have a 'week' or 'month' label (depending) to kind of get a feel for when they're occurring in relation to the fics. Any questions specifically on the worksheets can be directed to that blog; more general questions can be directed here or to my personal Tumblr.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the story and will enjoy the blog! Thanks! <3


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